


If You Let Me

by greystark



Category: Temeraire - Naomi Novik
Genre: M/M, Napoleonic Wars, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2014-11-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 10:08:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2618003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greystark/pseuds/greystark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laurence worries, Granby gets drunk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Let Me

**Author's Note:**

> Contains spoilers throughout Victory of Eagles.

The November sun wasn’t quite enough to keep Laurence warm. He stood a few feet away from the Loch Laggan lake, shivering with his arms crossed over his chest. Temeraire was clearly enjoying himself, splashing water over his back with his head. Today they were alone for once. Laurence didn’t mind the lack of a crew as much as he’d at first thought he would – his and Temeraire’s shared solitude was more than satisfactory – and he’d even begun to resent the occasions when someone decided to join them during their bathing hour. Laurence knew this was only temporary – there had been a sufficient amount of talk of tossing him back into a cell once the French had been fought off, none of which, thankfully enough, had reached Temeraire’s ears. Jane and Wellesley – no, it was Wellington now – had seen them sent off to Loch Laggan to await their final sentence. Jane had mentioned something about the Scottish not resenting him like the English did, having born the brute of the invasion, but Laurence suspected she too was happy to have him out of her way and he couldn’t blame her for it. He didn’t doubt her affection, nor resent her friendship, but she had made it quite clear as to how matters stood between them. Laurence was not worried precisely – hanging him was out of the question at this point – yet the state of affairs, the British as well as his own personal ones, left him somewhat dissatisfied.

At last his rather gloomy pattern of thought was broken as Temeraire had had enough and came out of the water and peered down at him.

“Are you very cold?” the dragon asked and lowered his head. Cold water dripped down onto Laurence, who instantly took a few steps back. “You can head back to the covert if you prefer and I will join you as soon as I’ve dried off a bit.”

“No, pray don‘t worry about me, my dear”, Laurence tried to reassure him.

Temeraire did not look convinced.

“Are you certain you are feeling quite well? You seem so very distant.”

“I‘m sorry I‘ve made you worry. I have quite a lot on my mind at the moment, but I promise to try and be more relaxed.” He smiled reassuringly and Temeraire settled for the answer.

Laurence picked up some linens from the pile he had dropped on the ground and started rubbing the black scales. It took quite some time to do it on his own, but the happy rumbling noise coming from deep within the dragon’s chest was satisfying enough to make it worth the effort.

 

Back at the covert Temeraire settled on the heated stones and immediately fell asleep. Laurence looked up towards the sky. It was dark by now and almost everyone must have finished supper, but he was too hungry to care about the late hour and headed towards the dining hall.

He had been right in his assumption - only a few fellows from the ground crews were still there, except from Captain Granby. He was sitting alone at the officers’ table with a plate he hadn’t touched and an empty bottle of wine. Laurence walked up behind him, but Granby didn’t even look up.

“What‘s bothering you, John?” Laurence asked in a low voice.

During the invasion Laurence had seen proof of Granby’s alcohol dependency ensuing Laurence’s treason, but since their victory he had much improved. It was disheartening to see the younger man turn to his old ways.

“W-what?” Granby stuttered, finally noticing the other captain’s presence. “Oh, it‘s only you, Laurence.”

“Were you expecting someone else? Shall I leave?”

Laurence took a step back, but Granby made a dismissive gesture. 

“No, no, pray sit down.”

Laurence hesitated for a moment before pulling out the chair next to Granby.

Granby didn’t speak again. He had placed his elbows on the table and rested his head in his hands. Tolly came with a plate and a glass of wine for Laurence, who made his apologies for the late hour, but once the food was in front of him he didn’t touch it. He was about to ask Granby what was wrong again, but suddenly the other man raised his head and looked at him.

“I can‘t control her. I‘m afraid that she is going to be the first dragon to get executed in Britain in over one hundred years, and they’ll probably hang me as well. I must confess I’m almost surprised they haven’t yet.”

“What has she done now?” There was no need to clarify it was Iskierka they were speaking of.

Granby let out a deep sigh and let his head sink back into his hands.

“When we were patrolling today she took off with some of the ferals to go price-hunting - she wouldn’t listen to me, or anyone else for that part. She left the coastline completely unprotected! If a French patrol had slipped through we would most likely be in court this very moment.”

Laurence didn’t know how to reassure his friend. Iskierka was disobedient and she had been warned and improved, but the effect seemed to have worn off. Having demolished the threat of invasion, the dragons were now granted more freedom. For Iskierka this only meant boredom and she was more than happy to give in to her slightest whims, making her terribly unruly and impossible to trust.

“She fights well enough but she will be of no use when the war is over, assuming we’ll live that long.”

“I do not think It would be appropriate of me to give advice on the management disobedient beasts”, Laurence said dryly.

Granby snorted. “Perhaps not, I suppose Temeraire can be quite a handful.”

Laurence wanted to defend the dragon, but it was true. Their treason had almost caused a successful occupation of England, even if, in his mind, their actions had been justified.

Granby reached for his wineglass, but Laurence swiftly pulled it out of reach.

“I think you‘ve had enough, John.”

Granby only sighed. Laurence had completely lost his appetite, but he forced himself to eat some chicken and potatoes. He drained the glass of wine, mostly because he feared Granby would otherwise. Once he’d finished he rose and helped Granby onto his feet. Granby tried to move too fast, and hadn’t it been for Laurence’s steady grip on his arm he would’ve fallen back into his chair. He let out a disgruntled sound as he regained his balance and Laurence had to look away to hide the affectionate smile spreading across his face.

“I‘ll escort you to your room, if you do not mind?” Laurence said, still fighting to hide his amusement.

“Be my guest.”

 

When they were stood outside Granby’s room the man said: “Laurence, will you pray come in and speak with me, just for a moment?”  
Laurence hesitated – it was quite late - but then he followed Granby into the small room.

Granby stood just a few feet away, looking at him with a tortured expression.

“I fear I have broken the law one time too many”, he said in a low voice. “Then I think, how could it possibly matter if I did it just one more time?”

“Of course it matters, John. Only a fool would say it didn’t”, Laurence answered just as quietly.

Granby didn’t say anything; he just reached out and touched Laurence’s cheek softly.

“I have followed you around the earth and back. God knows I would do it again.”

Laurence let the contact last a second before gently pushing Granby’s arm away.

“You are drunk”, he said.

“Terribly”, Granby agreed and stepped closer.

Laurence stepped back until he could feel the wall hit his back.

“It‘s illegal.”

“Says the man convicted for treason.”

Granby was very close now; Laurence could feel his hot breath on his face. It smelled of wine.

“If it came out you would receive a death sentence as well.”

“There is no gossiping within the corps.”

“There surely are limits.”

Granby just shook his head.

“You were a navy man, don’t pretend you know nothing of these things. If you can honestly say you want me to step down, I will obey. You may be a traitor, Laurence, but you are not a liar.”

Laurence was silent for a while, gazing into Granby’s alert eyes, before he responded. “In this one thing you are right, John.” His voice was surprisingly calm.

“Then why on earth are you being so reluctant?”

Laurence didn’t get a chance to reply. Granby pressed his lips against Laurence’s and Laurence found himself kissing the other man back. The taste of wine spread through his mouth and he found the sensation rather unpleasant, though the kiss itself was not. Granby grabbed his neck and pulled him closer, biting down on Laurence’s bottom lip. Heat spread like fire throughout Laurence’s body and he wrapped his arms tightly around Granby’s waist. Granby’s tongue swiped against Laurence’s teeth and Laurence parted his lips slightly, tentatively, and Granby urged forward so fast their teeth clashed together. Granby became more patient then, working his tongue around Laurence’s mouth slowly and thoroughly, pushing him harder against the wall all the while. Laurence moaned involuntarily as Granby’s leg brushed between his own, and a thrust of the other man’s hip had him running out of breath. Granby laughed softly and let the other captain go in order to begin a struggle to get Laurence’s coat of.

“Oh, damn you and your formality, Laurence!” he exclaimed when he failed the attempt.

The only answer he got was an amused smile. Laurence had spent the time trying to gather his thoughts and make sense of what just had happened.

“It is quite late, John, and I do think one night’s sleep would do you good.”

“There are certain things I’d rather do than sleep.”

Laurence blushed and had to look away. “I imagine. Unfortunately, for you at least, I‘m longing to rest in my own bed.”

Granby did take the hint, which was not very gracefully made, and backed down.

“I’m sorry, Laurence, I should never have-”, Granby mumbled, his face rapidly turning an alarming shade of red.

“Don’t you worry, John, it is not as you think. I would return tomorrow, if you’d let me.”

Granby simply nodded, resulting in a rather embarrassing moment of silence as they both just stood staring at each other, and then Laurence waved briefly and headed towards his own quarters, his face a rather intense shade of pink and his lips red and swollen.

***

The next day Laurence told Temeraire about his and Granby’s encounter as they were flying down to the lake, just the two of them, late in the afternoon. He rarely felt embarrassed telling the dragon anything – by now he’d gotten used to Temeraire’s lack of sense for what was proper – but now he could feel his cheeks heating and was happy Temeraire couldn’t see his expression. The dragon responded by humming from deep down his belly. As they landed he folded his wings neatly against his back and instead of jumping directly into the water as he usually did, he stayed on land to talk to Laurence.

“Laurence”, he said. “I do not find it repulsive or anything of that manner, the thought just never occurred to me - I haven’t considered it a possibility. Do you think it could happen with dragons as well?”

Laurence had never feared Temeraire’s rejection of course, but he still felt inexplicably relieved.

“I‘m afraid I do not have an answer to that question, my dear. I would suppose you know that better than I do.”

Temeraire hummed thoughtfully again, and much to Laurence alarm he added: “Maybe I’ll ask Maximus later – or perhaps Immortalis, he is older, after all.”  
It took some time convincing Temeraire not to do so and by the end of it Temeraire was outraged at the state of the law and on the verge of adding this to the ever growing list of causes he supported. When Laurence finally had talked him out of doing _that,_ the dragon said, in a familiarly bitter tone: “Though I wish I hadn‘t let Iskierka have Granby, then this might have happened much sooner and you could have spared much time worrying. This is what has been bothering you, is it not?”

“Yes, my dear, it is.” Laurence smiled towards the dragon. “But I dare say I will have plenty to worry about, even now.”

He thought of Jane, quite possibly fighting for his and Temeraire’s lives that very moment, but he didn’t feel the expected pang of guilt.

 

Once again Laurence found Granby in the dining hall, already about to finish his supper. He looked pale and nervous and once he spotted Laurence color crept up his neck. Laurence stopped a few paces away, suddenly unsure of himself. Granby had consumed a great amount of wine the previous night, and perhaps his actions had been nothing but a result of his intoxication. Laurence had just decided to turn away – not to flee precisely, just escape an unpleasant situation – when Granby smiled tentatively and beckoned him over. Feeling somewhat reassured, Laurence let out a soft sigh of relief and sat down next to the other captain.

They sat in silence at first as Laurence filled his plate with food and his glass with wine, neither of them sure of what to say.

“Will you wait for me?” Laurence asked at last.

“Of course, as long as you let me”, Granby answered quietly, and Laurence sensed a deep sincerity behind those words.

He smiled softly as he began eating.

The door had barely closed behind them before Granby kissed Laurence hard on the mouth. Laurence was a bit surprised by Granby’s eagerness – he’d thought it a result of the alcohol the previous night. He was surprised, but not taken aback, and he returned the kiss happily, running his fingers through Granby’s hair as Granby’s mouth abandoned his lips to trace kisses along his jawline. Laurence freed his hands momentarily, but only to remove his neck cloth, exposing his neck to Granby’s lips. He moaned softly as Granby’s tongue flickered over his pulse and again when Granby let his teeth sink into the skin above his collarbone, having unbuttoned Laurence’s shirt with steady hands. Laurence grasped the other man’s chin and hauled him up for another long and desperate kiss. Granby’s hands slid down Laurence’s back and he grabbed hold of the older man’s hips, pushing their bodies together shamelessly. Laurence gasped at the friction and grabbed at Granby’s back, keeping him from breaking the contact.

“God”, Laurence mumbled into Granby’s skin. “I want-, I need-”

Granby smiled smugly and took a step back and removed his coat as Laurence watched. The way he casually dropped the ridiculously adorned garment onto the floor made an unpleasant shiver run down Laurence’s spine. He himself was more careful as he undressed, folding his clothes neatly and putting them in a carefully constructed pile on Granby’s desk with his coat spread out on top. Granby watched from the bed, partially amused but mostly just annoyed, but by the time Laurence finished he’d become impatient verging on irritated.  
When Laurence finally joined him on the bed Granby gave him a kiss and mumbled something about his “damn old navy manners.”

Afterwards he said, “I dare say you have changed quite a lot since you were a fellow in the navy, Laurence, but I do not think you will ever give up your ways of arranging your clothes.”

They were lying tightly entwined in bed, Granby’s arms wrapped around Laurence’s chest and his head resting against Laurence’s shoulder.

Laurence let out a little laugh. “There are certain things which will never change”, he said. He thought, ‘And certain things that will, despite how reluctant you might be’, but he didn’t say this aloud. They fell asleep like that, Granby’s breath tickling Laurence’s neck and Laurence’s arms draped protectively over Granby’s torso.

***

Volly brought the news two days later.

“Australia?” Temeraire said meekly. “But Laurence, isn’t that terribly far away?”

“I’m afraid so, my dear”, Laurence replied, resting a hand against Temeraire’s leg in silent compassion.

“But- do we have to go?”

Laurence thought they had to – what other choice had they, other than to run away as cowards? – and he told Temeraire as much.

Temeraire sighed but inclined his head in agreement. “It’s is only, things are just starting to change for the dragons because of me, and now I won’t be here to see it happen.”

He wistfully thought of Percitia’s pavilion and sighed again.

“I know”, Laurence said and spared Granby a thought – it was not easy to abandon what you had been fighting for for so long without even having the chance to truly enjoy it. “But we are taking eggs with us to establish a covert in New South Wales and there your ideas will hardly be met with as much opposition.”

Temeraire’s spirits brightened at the thought. “That is right, Laurence! And I’m certain we can build a new pavilion, much nicer than the one we have here – not that this one isn’t perfectly fine as well,”, he hurriedly added, thinking of the capital Laurence had spent in order to build it, “only it could use some adornment, and – oh! I suppose it doesn’t snow in New South Wales, so the roof could be constructed in the Chinese fashion after all, and only think of how close to China we will be!”

Laurence smiled as he listened to Temeraire go on about the advantages of their being sent away, although he could not share in the dragon’s excitement wholeheartedly.

 

He told Granby later that night when they were alone in Granby’s room.

“I’m sorry, John”, Laurence said softly. “We are leaving for England tomorrow morning.”

They were seated at a small table by the window indulging themselves, drinking whiskey and smoking cigars. Laurence had attempted teaching Granby how to play chess, but Granby didn’t have the patience for it, and had gotten so frustrated he distracted Laurence by reaching over and kissing him, snatching his king in the process and then proceeding to declare himself the winner. Laurence had watched the childish display in content amusement, not wanting to diminish Granby’s happiness by sharing the news. 

However, he couldn’t keep the act up for too long – keeping Granby in the dark felt almost dishonest.

“I’m terribly sorry”, Laurence repeated, but Granby waved it off and reached for the whiskey bottle.

“It’s hardly your fault they’re sending you half across creation again; I’m rather the fool for not expecting it.”

Laurence nodded, but felt he had to say something more, so with color high on his cheeks and eyes fixed on the ceiling he incoherently confessed: “I know it wasn’t for long, but I’d been- I’m glad- I know it is not-”, he sighed and fell silent for a moment before continuing. “I don’t expect you to pine for me that is all.”

“I would if you asked it of me. Most likely I will, even if you do not, and I know you wouldn’t.”

“John-”

“No”, Granby interrupted, and then he smiled and said in attempt to restore his usually cheerful manners: “Who knows what will happen within a year? Perhaps we will have defeated Napoleon and everyone will have thought better of sending you into exile. Or, more likely, he’ll be on our doorstep again and they’ll be looking to hang whoever suggested sending you away in the first place. Or even more likely still, Roland will send Iskierka and me after you so I too can escape the noose after she learns Temeraire won’t be able to give her an egg after all and sets the parliament on fire.”

Laurence snorted – he had no trouble imagining that series of events.

“If I may speak frankly, Will, I doubt your journey will be as uneventful as you are inclined to think. I can’t see you and that damned dragon of yours doing anything but stirring up the dust, be it here in Britain or over in the colonies. Adventure and political intrigue seem to be drawn to you like flies are to dung.”

Laurence smiled. “Pray, John, say no such thing. I was hoping to live out my days quietly and let everyone on this side of the Indian Ocean forget mine and Temeraire’s names.”

“You are ever the optimist”, Granby teased. “Now get over here, I’m not spending our last night together bickering.”

***

Iskierka looked terribly smug where she was laying, sprawled out to make certain she – and only she – was comfortable, forcing Temeraire to curl up against the rail. She was not even meant to be there, although Temeraire would be lying if he said her company was entirely unwanted, it was a long voyage after all. Such things were easy to forget nonetheless, especially as he watched Iskierka eat one of his precious cows. As he’d said, it was going to be a long voyage.

“Don’t you ever think of anyone but yourself?” Temeraire said in exasperation as Iskierka draped her tail across his hind legs – only to make certain he knew she’d grown longer than him, Temeraire was sure. “Poor Granby, getting dragged across the ocean only because you have got this notion-”

“I do think of Granby!” Iskierka bristled. “Do you think he was any happier being left behind? I thought he’d much rather be with Lau-” Temeraire raised his ruff in warning and she slipped into Durzagh. “With Laurence. It is not as if he made much of a fuss about going.”

Temeraire flattened his ruff against his neck. He felt slightly embarrassed – he had not even considered the notion, and that could not be seen as anything other than the highest form of neglect, especially since even _Iskierka_ had thought of it.

“Of course that is right”, Temeraire said as gracefully as he could manage, “but what good would it do, if Granby was dismissed from the service because of your disobedience, one might say it is close to treason, you harrying off-”

“Oh!” Iskierka said angrily, slipping back into English and jetting steam out of her numerous spikes, much to the alarm of the surrounding sailors. “Oh! Are you accusing me, when you are the reason we are on this rotten ship in the first place?! That is very noble of you, seeing how it is your fault Laurence was convicted, and here you come and try and speak to me of treason. I would not let anyone try and hang my Granby or otherwise dishonor him; if they tried to send us away by ship I would just set in ablaze and-”

“Iskierka, shut your goddamned mouth!” Granby cried exasperation as he emerged onto the dragon deck with Laurence just behind him. “You two are sending the entire ship into a fright with your bickering.”

Temeraire looked around and found that Granby was right – the sailors, even those on duty had all but cleared the deck.

“Morale is low enough as it is without the two of you threatening to sink the ship”, he added.

“You overheard us?” Temeraire asked guiltily.

“I dare say there’s not a soul on this ship who didn’t ‘overhear’ you”, Laurence said dryly.

After some more arguing and scolding, Iskierka curled up more tightly, tucked her head underneath her wing and went to sleep. Temeraire settled more comfortably as well and watched as Laurence and Granby returned below decks to have their supper. Despite the circumstances, Laurence looked happier than he had in a long while as he smiled up at Granby and offered his arm in unnecessary support before the both of them vanished.

Temeraire closed his eyes and admitted to himself, although it pained him a great deal to do so, that maybe, just maybe, Iskierka had been right to come.

**Author's Note:**

> (I originally wrote this back in 2011 and I really have no idea why I thought Loch Laggan would be a good setting for it I'm sorry I know it makes no sense.)


End file.
